More Word to the World

Prov 15:22 Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

Prov 15:22 Get all the advice you can, and you will succeed; without it you will fail. TEV

Many people fail in efforts that started out very hopeful and often that occurs because they launched into that effort unadvisedly or ill-advised. Look for counsel from others and not just from people who you know will agree with you. Receiving several viewpoints, and even those opposed to your view, can be very helpful in seeing things on your blind side.

Proverbs 28:7 Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father.

Prov 28:7 Young men who are wise obey the law; a son who is a member of a lawless gang is a shame to his father. TLB

To find success in reaching our goals in life, we need mentors, partners, or, using the biblical term, “counselors.” They can accelerate us toward success in matters spiritual, marital, parental, or in business. However, not everyone qualifies as an suitable partner. Summarizing past lessons, avoid those who (1) lack integrity; (2) possess a quick temper; (3) display chronic foolishness; (4) exaggerate promises; (5) use flattery; and (6) gossip and are tale bearers. The final quality we will mention is noted in today’s proverb: (7) those who disrespect authority. These people disregard rules, regulations, policies, and standards that, they feel, don’t apply to them. They tend to be a kingdom to themselves as if they are above the law. They excuse and even justify their behavior (which often includes being abusive behavior to people they feel are below them) because of “apparent” success at shunning ethical standards. Today’s proverb warns us to not be “a companion of” those or they will lead to shame.

Proverbs 20:19 He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.

Prov 20:19 He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets;
Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips. NKJV

“Do not associate” with the gossip, talebearer, or flatterer. We have already mentioned the flatterer so today we add the gossip and talebearer to our list of people to avoid when seeking out a counselor or partner. Pay attention to what comes out of their mouths. If the person is prone to revealing private information about others, do not follow their example or seek out their counsel. While the stories they tell may be appealing in some dark way, remember, if you pour your heart out to them seeking wisdom and counsel, your personal story will likely be the next tale they share with someone else.

Proverbs 26:28 A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.

Prov 26:28 You have to hate someone to want to hurt him with lies. Insincere talk brings nothing but ruin. TEV

In past messages, we studied how appropriate partnering with the right kind of person will accelerate us on the way toward our goals. More recently we have been looking at seven characteristics to watch out for when making the choice of a partner or counselor. Avoid those who (1) lack integrity; (2) possess a quick temper; (3) display chronic foolishness; (4) exaggerate promises; and (5) use flattery. The last time we saw how those who use flattery are often setting a trap with pleasant sounding words. Today’s verse warns of ruin that will result from flattery.

Proverbs 29:5 A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.

Prov 29:5 To flatter friends
is to lay a trap for their feet. NLT

The fifth red flag to watch for when selecting a counselor/partner is the use of flattery. You might wonder, “What is wrong with giving a complement or word of praise when someone has done well? What is the difference between praise and flattery?” Praise has to do with giving commendation for something done well; meaning a worthy word given for a worthy act. Flattery is synonymous with “smooth talk” and is more like empty words spoken to inflate someone’s ego. Generally speaking, the one pouring on the flattery intends to use the ego-inflating words to disarm and deceive and ensnare his victim. Flattery is a trap to watch out for.

Proverbs 28:19 He that tilleth his land shall have plenty of bread: but he that followeth after vain persons shall have poverty enough.

Prov 28:19 He who cultivates his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless people and pursuits will have poverty enough. AMP

The fourth red flag to look for when choosing a partner/counselor is one who asks for little and promises much. The too-good-to-be-true alarm may go off in your conscience when you hear what they offer. Following after vain or worthless people with glamorous ideals instead of an old-fashioned work ethic leads to poverty. The slow and proven processes that involve labor are those that produce plenty.

Proverbs 14:7 Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.

Prov 14:7 Leave the presence of a fool,
Or you will not discern words of knowledge. NASU

The third “red flag” to watch for when selecting a counselor or partner is foolishness. There are some brilliant men and women who just make dumb choices. I’m not talking about the occasional blunder, or “senior” or “blonde” moment, I’m talking about a series of foolish decisions. Some may find an attraction to that sort of person for the sake of pity but don’t partner with them and follow their counsel. Their lack of discernment between right and wrong will begin to influence your own judgment.

Proverbs 29:24 Whoso is partner with a thief hateth his own soul: he heareth cursing, and bewrayeth it not.

Prov 29:24 If you assist a thief, you only hurt yourself.
You are sworn to tell the truth, but you dare not testify. NLT

Steven K. Scott, in his book on Proverbs*, notes seven “red flags” to watch out for when choosing a partner or counselor. The first is seen in today’s verse. That advice sounds obvious: “Don’t partner with a thief.” Ok, so I don’t join forces with an armed robber, does that cover it? This is deeper than that. The Hebrew word, “ganaab,” means thief, one who breaks in, by window, steals, comes by night. It is a character issue where the person has abandoned honesty. It can range from dishonesty, cheating on a business deal, stealing a car, robbing a bank. It is simply a lack of integrity that reveals itself in varying degrees. While we all make stupid mistakes that represent the exception to our character, that is the normal conduct for the thief of today’s proverb—and they don’t feel guilty about it, but rationalize it. When looking for a partner or counselor, integrity should be the first thing we look for.

Proverbs 25:19 Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint.

Prov 25:19 Like a bad tooth or a lame foot
is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble. NIV

Here is a sum of the last few days: If you have a good team of counselors, (1) purposes are fulfilled, (2) you are less risky, (3) you take on the qualities of your mentors, and (4) you will have help, and (5) you will succeed in some circumstances in which you would have otherwise failed. Today and for the next few days, we will consider some warnings for taking up with the wrong kind of partner/counselor. Have you have ever broken a tooth? Then you know what pain is because it hurts to eat with each bite. If you have ever twisted your ankle you know the struggle you have with every step you take. When you place your confidence and trust in an unfaithful partner, you will experience the kind of pain that you will be reminded of with every step of your life and in everything you sink your teeth into.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Eccl 4:12 And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. TLB

If you have a good team of counselors, (1) purposes are fulfilled, (2) you are less risky, (3) you take on the qualities of your mentors, and (4) you will have help. Today’s word from Solomon is related to yesterday’s verse but brings a strong addition. If you are adequately partnered with wise counselors, you will succeed in some circumstances in which you would have otherwise failed. If your ventures are constantly failing, perhaps your “cord” does not have enough strands in the weave to withstand the pressures of the task. If you are pursuing a vision that you are certain God led you to yet it is not prospering, seek yet another advisor. As mentioned in previous lessons, it might mean calling a pastor, calling in an expert, or seeking out a book that offers wisdom in the subject.